That’s What Friends Are For …

Out of dating possibilities?

Want the fast track in your career? “It’s all in who you know.”

Want the perfect house? “Location, location, location.”

Want to meet someone new, who could put a smile on your face? “See answers above.”

Networking… It’s Not Just For Business Anymore.
Who we know, and where we are, seem to be key elements in finding what we want out of life. The right placement, the right timing and the right connections can mean the difference between a steal of a deal on a house or a killer job. But, without the right contacts, many people are stuck living a ho-hum life on a dead-end street. Something that can make a difference? Networking: the art and science of allowing friends, colleagues, and acquaintances to work for you, to help you get the things you desire.

If networking works so well in your professional life, could the same process help your love life? Could a friend of a friend of a friend actually be your Mr. or Ms. Right?

Absolutely.

Maybe you’re thinking, “No way! My friend set me up on a blind date once; it was a disaster!” But matchmaking isn’t what we’re suggesting. Blind dates often require tact by all parties involved—especially if things don’t work out so well. The art of networking is much more subtle, with little pressure and less room for error. So, how do you avoid the horror of a blind date, and still tap into your friend’s circle?


Give Yourself a Fresh Start
Before you start on any new road to look for love, make a deal with yourself: say “yes” to positive thinking and let go of the past. If you feel you’ve exhausted your dating possibilities and there truly aren’t any fish in the sea, refresh your frame of mind. You may have to start anew in order to make any sort of progress in finding the right person.

Along with a good attitude, it’s also critical to be honest with yourself. Determine the kind of traits you want your soul-mate to have—and be rational (asking the universe for a Brad Pitt or Julia Roberts clone is not all-that realistic.) Once you know who and what you’re looking for, your soul will be attuned to those goals. You’ll be less tempted to become involved with a person who doesn’t fit your life and your beliefs. Settling just isn’t an option for the people who know what they want!

When you get your mind and psyche in sync, then you’re ready to do some meeting. How, you wonder? Through friends and acquaintances, of course!

Getting in the Door
Have you ever sent out a resume for a job you think is perfect for you, and then waited for a response with no luck? Maybe you thought, “If I could just land the interview, I know I could seal the deal.” Often it’s true: with the opportunity to sit face-to-face with someone, you could change the outcome. Maybe you feel that way about dating, too. Whether you’re a great first-impression kind of person or not, a personal introduction can really get the ball rolling. This is where location, location, location is important; because if you’re not there to be seen, you’ll be overlooked.

If you’re not comfortable with the direct approach (the blind date) then something a bit more subtle may be easier. Attending casual get-togethers, dinner parties, or events that you have an interest in are all great ways to put yourself in front of other singles. Clubs, groups and events are wonderful places to meet people because the more the focus is on an activity, the less pressure there is to make a love connection. Activities are also wonderful because they provide a secondary benefit: they help to fill up your friendship love tank.

In Mars Venus philosophy, each person has 10 love tanks. Ranging from our relationship to ourselves; to family and friends; to romance and our connection to the spiritual, the levels in our Love Tanks can show us when we are out of balance. This happens when we focus too much attention in one area, or not enough. When you’re fixated on finding love, that tank can easily capture all your attention and other areas of your life suffer.

What does this have to do with Networking?
Here’s the key! Many people firmly believe that there are right ways to meet their soul mate, and they get stuck in these ways because they’ve practiced them for so long. By breaking out of this thinking, you can nurture your Love Tanks. Through the help of friends, this also enables you to broaden your dating pool. You might find yourself out of your comfort zone at times, but your new efforts to find the right person may help you become more fulfilled.

If you’re spending time with your friends, whether talking about relationships or not, you’re nurturing that side of yourself. If you’ve decided to join a group or get involved with a hobby that your friend suggested, your ties to an expanded community will fill that Love Tank. In the midst of all this networking, you’ll replenish your love tanks that may have been neglected—and you’ll meet new people!

You may discover that when you shift your focus off of yourself, you’ll be more fulfilled. Putting energy into other facets of your life won’t interfere with your goal of finding the right person: broadening your world will open you up to more chances for love. The lesson here is that you can’t just depend on someone else to make you happy—whether a blind date, your best friend, or your lovable pet. You control your own happiness, and can make things happen for yourself, by being part of the world around you in new ways you might not be seeing.

Take some action!
Through networking and the refilling of Love Tanks, you’ll expand possibilities for love connections in your life. And, along the way, you’ll come to understand your true desires and feelings and draw the right people toward you. Taking action can make the difference between wishing things would change—and seeing change happen in your life. Call a friend, take a chance, get involved—and see where it takes you!