Como é que uma Mulher consegue comunicar eficazmente com um Homem?

If he bristles when you try to comfort him, tunes out when you want him to do something, and refuses to admit when you're right, use these proven strategies for communicating with men.

Let me get your power drill.

Suppose you want a man to do something for you, and you've asked him, oh, a thousand times. He's promised he would, which is what's so frustrating — if he flatly refused, at least you'd understand why he isn't taking action. He doesn't want you to remind him about what he needs to do, even though he keeps forgetting. Don't ask him to do a specific task ("Fix the drip in the shower") but to be in charge of solving the problem ("The leak in the shower is driving me crazy"). Offer to help him ("Tell me what tools you need, and I'll go get them for you"). Men love to show women their tools.

Wanna dance?

The best way to seduce a man the first time is to let him know you're interested—but not easy—with the word maybe. Maybe you should get together, maybe you'll have a drink with him, maybe you'd like to see his place. There's enough yes in maybe to keep a man from feeling rejected and enough no to keep him challenged. If it's a long-term relationship, the approach is different, but you'll do well if you still think of it as a dance. Get him to snuggle, kiss, and play but once you are there, let him take the lead. Whether it's a date or your 30th anniversary, a man likes to think it's his idea.

You're 100 percent correct.

It doesn't matter what you're arguing about—he just wants to be right. This is his weakness; you can use it like judo, turning his own momentum against him. Saying two little words, "You're right," is the verbal equivalent of darting a raging elephant with animal tranquilizers. It gives him what he wants, reducing tensions and leaving the way open for you to get what you want. Try it: "You're right, but I still want to go to the party." Meet every protest and argument he makes, no matter how ridiculously false, with the observation that he is absolutely correct…but you still want what you want. In boxing this is called rope-a-dope, and even if you don't know what the rope part means, the dope part sounds pretty applicable. This is called win-win—except you did and he didn't.

What a manly sweater!

Men like receiving compliments because they think it means that you are going to have sex with them. This can make complimenting a man awkward, no matter how straightforward you are about your intentions. He'll reach this same conclusion if you (a) say "good morning" to him, (b) smile at him, or (c) ignore him, so you might as well go ahead and compliment him if you want. And maybe you are sleeping with him or would consider it, so what are the best ways to get your message of appreciation across? Simply put, we want to hear words that sound masculine. Telling us you think our sweater is "handsome" is a way of saying we're manly, while a "cute" sweater sounds like something worn by a female schnauzer. Giving a compliment is like giving a gift: Don't make it about what you would want, make it about what he wants.

Ah men! What I know for sure: We all want to feel like we matter to somebody.

I just finished taping a show where I sat in a room for two hours with seven men of different ages and backgrounds and one thing in common: They had all cheated on their wives.

This was one of the most interesting and candid conversations I've ever had or heard on the subject of why men cheat. As with all my interviews, I tried to rid myself of prejudgment. I like to approach each subject with an open mind so I can listen and learn as much as possible and maybe even come away with an aha.

I had a big one: The yearning to feel heard, needed, and important is so strong in all of us that we seek that validation in whatever form we can get it. For a lot of people—men and women—having an affair is an affirmation that I'm really okay. My guest Brian, who'd been married 18 years and thought he had a moral code that would withstand flirtatious temptations, said this about his mistress: "There wasn't anything special about her. But she listened, was interested, and made me feel special." That's the key, I thought: We all want to feel like we matter to somebody. And the work required not to take our partner for granted is part of the process of growing together.

What my generation was raised to believe — that people get married and stay together because they love each other — is no longer the whole truth. Only when love is a verb and put into action does it thrive. It's a mistake to think that a loving relationship is going to automatically sustain itself. Nothing worth having happens without work.

I don't know any pain worse than the pain of betrayal. It's so devastating—it strips you of everything you thought you knew and causes you to doubt yourself. Not one of these guys I talked to thought about the suffering they would cause if and when they were caught. Stephen's eyes watered when he told us about the night he confessed to his wife. "I never knew I could hurt someone that much," he said.

I could see that he'd had an awakening. I think that, to a large degree, men are trained to fill roles and move through life unconsciously. Our society makes jokes about "sensitive" men. And it's that willingness to poke fun at real feelings that breeds machismo.

What a challenge for mothers raising sons in the 21st century! As the men opened up about their marital transgressions, I was able to see each of them as a young boy hungering to be heard. It's hard to feel compassion when you're the one who's been lied to and deceived. But the conversation reaffirmed what I know for sure: There's always room to grow when you lead with the truth.